You may be wondering about how to deal with grief and separate the truths from the myths.
We all deal with grief in our own way. After the death of a loved one, you may feel overwhelmed and wonder if your experience is normal. There is no one true way to experience grief. We all have different coping methods, relationships with the deceased, faith or belief systems, and life experiences.
People will have different timetables for processing their emotions after a loss. For some, it’s in weeks or months. For others, it can take years. Some people find that no amount of time fully heals their grief, but they can get to a place where they can live with it and begin to experience joy again.
Whatever timetable you are on, be patient with yourself and let yourself grieve at a pace that feels natural.
To better understand the grieving process, read on to learn common myths about grief
Myths About Grieving
Grief can be difficult to talk about. Perhaps that is why there are so many myths about it.
Resuming a Normal Life Dishonors My Loved One Who Has Passed Away
If you had passed away and your lost loved one was still alive, how would you want them to behave? You probably would not want them to stop enjoying life. Processing your grief so that you can resume your normal life and feel happy again is one of the best ways to honor your loved one.
There Are Five Stages of Grief That Everyone Goes Through Sequentially
“Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.” These are the five stages of grief, according to psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. We commonly think of them as a series of stages that we experience in the order listed. However, that is not what Kübler-Ross intended. We may feel like we have arrived at acceptance only to find we’re right back to denial a few weeks later. Grieving is not a linear process. Some of us may not even experience every stage.
I Have to Put on a Brave Face for My Family
Your family is grieving, too. Seeing you grieve may help them feel like it is okay to cry and express their emotions. Being strong for them can mean participating in the grieving process together, which may include crying and expressing your emotions.
Ignoring Your Grief Makes It Go Away Faster
Grief will not go away unless you process it. Pretending that you are not grieving may give you some temporary relief from thinking about the loss, but your feelings will bubble up eventually.
How to Deal with Grief
As we have discussed, we all experience grief differently. But what do you do if you are unhappy with the role grief is playing in your life? There are direct and healthy ways to process your grief.
There are steps you can take to lessen your feelings of sadness, process your loss, and find more joy and meaning in your life. Consider these tactics for taking control and facing your grief head-on:
- You can purchase a self-help book from a credible expert on the topic.
- Journaling can help you get out your feelings.
- You may benefit from writing a letter to your deceased loved one.
- Perhaps you need to visit their grave/resting place more often.
- It may even feel good to talk to your loved one as though they are still there.
- If you have developed any destructive coping mechanisms for dealing with the loss, work to change your behavior on your own or with the aid of a counselor.
Do I Need Grief Counseling?
As we have discussed, grief is not a linear process, but generally, your bouts of grief should be getting shorter and less intense over time. If that is not the case or you are unhappy with the role grief is playing in your life, you might consider seeking out the help of a grief or bereavement counselor who can help you process your grief and improve your mental health.
There are some warning signs to watch out for as you address your feelings over a loss, which can be a strong indication that you would benefit from counseling. You may want to seek out a counselor if grief causes depression, gets in the way of your daily activities, results in feelings of guilt, or makes it difficult to maintain your existing relationships.
Learn More About Grief and Mourning from the Experts at The Gardens of Boca Raton
At The Gardens of Boca Raton, we are experienced with helping people mourn their loss and process their grief. We have compiled a list of frequently asked questions that we commonly hear from those struggling with a loss.
