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Supporting a grieving friend can be daunting. We worry that we may not do or say the right thing. Every gesture seems inadequate given the huge loss our friend faces. We may be dealing with our own feelings about the loss, which makes it even more challenging to know how to express our sympathy.
Typically people who lose a loved one just want to connect and are more likely to be hurt if we do not reach out. A care package can be a great way to let your friend know you are thinking about them.
A care package is typically a package with food, treats, and/or necessities that may not be easily available to the recipient. Items with emotional significance can make your care package more personal and heartfelt. Adding a card or letter gives yet another touch of personalization to a care package.
Grief care packages – sometimes called bereavement, condolences, or sympathy care packages – often include items that help a grieving person complete burdensome daily chores or mementos that aid with the grieving process.
We have compiled some ideas for bereavement gifts and care packages to help you be there for your friend during this very difficult time. You can even combine these ideas to make a truly personalized care package that will fit your friend’s taste and preferences.
Regardless of what you send, be sure to attach a note that expresses your sympathy and mentions your gift by name. Your friend is likely receiving lots of gifts and visitors, and you want to make sure that your gift is not lost in the shuffle. A note ensures that they know you were thinking of them. As a general rule, keep your message short.
Buying items for your care package does not have to be impersonal. Whether you save your friend a trip to the grocery or buy an item that helps them remember their loved one, all these gifts will help your friend with the grieving process.
Some people find it comforting to surround themselves with photos of their departed family member. To support your friend’s grieving process, buy them some beautiful picture frames.
Even if your friend does not wish to grieve in this way, having new frames for their existing or new photos of friends and family members will help them feel surrounded by loved ones. You can attach a note that says you hope the picture frames will help remind them of all the people who love and care about them.
Cooking can feel like an impossible chore after losing a loved one. Meal delivery kits can help. Many of these services offer ready-made meals that just need to be reheated. If your friend has someone around who can help with cooking, you can order a kit that is designed to get a freshly cooked meal on the table quickly. After a death, people often drop off rich foods like baked pastas and cupcakes, so your friend may welcome meal delivery kits that offer some nutritious and flavorful options, too.
You can typically find great introductory promotions for these services. There are even kits that accommodate a range of dietary restrictions, so no matter your friend’s preferences, you are sure to find a kit that works for them.
The very last thing most people want to do after losing a loved one is going to the grocery store. Saving your friend from this hassle will help them focus on their grief, funeral arrangements, and other difficult tasks related to the loss.
Focus on grabbing a mix of cleaning items, everyday essentials (toilet paper, etc.), their favorite snacks, treats, and quick dinner items. Think about what you would want to have on hand as well as what you know of your friend’s dietary preferences and needs. You can deliver it yourself or use a grocery delivery service.
Gourmet food baskets can be an easy way to send your friend a nicely wrapped assortment of delicious items. Consider sending your friend a basket of seasonal fruit, chocolate, luxury tea and coffee, or other gourmet foods.
Death can be difficult for children who are experiencing this inevitable part of life for the first time at a young age. Be sure to include any bereaved children in your gifting plans. Toys, stuffed animals, books, stickers, puzzles, movies, and video games will provide a welcome distraction and let the child know that you care about their grieving process, too. Be sure to make it age-appropriate.
If you have the time to make or curate a care package, that can add a special personal touch. These gifts will make the bereaved feel extra cared for.
Offer your friend a day of pampering at home by buying them some products for an at-home spa day. Face masks, bath bombs, calming candles, soothing oils, foot soaks, exfoliants, and moisturizers are all great options. Products with lavender, peppermint, lemon, or rosemary scents are known for relieving stress. You could even include a journal to continue the self-care theme.
Purchase a quality notebook that is pleasant to look at and touch, something the bereaved can hold as a memento for years to come. In the notebook, you as well as close friends and family can write letters to your grieving friend about your memories of their loved one.
This option could also work well for coworkers of the departed who want to show their sympathy to grieving family members. They may appreciate the opportunity to learn about what their loved one was like at work.
Homemade comfort foods are familiar and soothing. Give your friend an effortless meal by dropping off some homemade dinners. Dishes like casseroles, mac and cheese, and lasagna are ideal because they can be baked immediately or frozen for a later date. Baked goods like muffins, cookies, cakes, and quick bread make everyone feel better, and if your friend is expecting guests or impromptu visitors in the weeks after the loss, this is a great choice. Some homemade food paired with a sympathy card is a thoughtful gift.
It is generally considered good funeral etiquette to send a sympathy card within two weeks of the death. You may wish to pair your card with your care package and send it within this window.
It is never too late to express your feelings to someone mourning a loss. The real work of grief often begins after the funeral passes and the guests leave. Sending a care package in the months after a death can be a lovely gesture that lets your friend know you are still thinking about them and their loss.
If you are attending a funeral organized by The Gardens of Boca Raton Cemetery & Funeral Services, give us a call to get our opinion on the best way to deliver your gift. We are funeral experts who will be happy to share our thoughts on gift choices and the best way to present your gift to the bereaved as well as answer any other questions you may have.
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