Funeral Etiquette Tips
No one ever wants to stand out as rude or improper, especially at such a serious occasion as a funeral or memorial service in a funeral parlor. But many times, whether it is because of the uneasiness of the situation, the emotionality of everything, or just the fact we have not been to many funerals, we often do not know proper funeral etiquette. Or at the very least, we are unclear on just what is expected at a funeral home, and what we should and should not do.
What to Wear and What Not To Wear
Among the most common questions when people consider proper funeral etiquette is what they should wear to the funeral home? What mourners should wear often depends on any religious observances involved, but usually, wearing black or dark clothes is appropriate, unless otherwise indicated. The most important thing to remember is to look clean and not wear anything that is flashy or stands out and distracts.
When Should You Arrive
You never want to arrive after the funeral service has already begun, as that is disrespectful to the grieving family and the loved one you are paying your respects to. Check the traffic route on your mobile phone apps to see how long it should take to get there, and then give yourself a cushion in case of traffic delays or parking issues. A place like The Gardens of Boca Raton Cemetery and Funeral Services has plenty of available parking, but other funeral parlors in bigger cities might have limited parking.
Where Should You Sit
The first few rows at a funeral home are usually reserved for family members. Even if you are a distant relative, allow space for those closest to the deceased to sit up front. Try not to allow for a huge gap of empty seats between the family and everyone else observing the funeral. Sitting in the middle is a safe route for you and your family.
How You Should Act
First of all, make sure your cell phone is turned off before even going into the funeral parlor. It might even be smart to set a reminder on your phone to turn it off 10 minutes before you get there. Some phones allow you to set reminders when you arrive at a specific location.
Also, share your condolences with family members and friends of the deceased, but do not make them feel like they need to have long conversations with you. Let them decide how the conversation goes, and do not forget that others in attendance will also want to share their condolences without you hanging around.
Who You Should Bring
This is mostly in reference to bringing children to the funeral parlor. Should you bring small children, even if they are well-behaved? That is a question for you to answer, but realize that death is a heavy issue that children might not understand while they are there. If you do bring well-behaved children (others should be left with a sitter or family member), make sure you explain to them what they should expect during the funeral service, and how other people are going to be acting. Let them know what is and is not appropriate, and make sure they understand how to whisper and sit quietly for long periods.
Since the people that work at The Gardens of Boca Raton have witnessed hundreds of funerals and memorial services, you should feel free to ask any of the attendants about proper funeral etiquette if you are not quite sure. Remember that this service at the funeral parlor is meant to show respect for the deceased.
Sending Flowers
Dating back centuries, people all over the world have used flowers to serve as a tribute to a lost loved one. Mourners bringing flowers for the funeral of their deceased friend or family member has become a tradition that continues to this day. But some might wonder, is this tradition still valid?
Flowers are a symbol of life, helping to represent both birth and death, with intense visual beauty and wonderful fragrances. But they also help a mourner share their feelings about someone without using words. Many times, a bouquet of flowers say what words cannot, offering sympathy in the manner of a gift to help beautify the funeral service.
Bereaved families very much appreciate the gesture of a floral funeral gift, and it helps them understand how their lost loved one affected others. Research shows that a gift of flowers helps a person’s emotional well-being.
However, those in the Islamic and Jewish faiths do not traditionally receive flowers for their funeral services. Also, a family might ask people to contribute a donation to a specific charity “in lieu of” sending flowers. Following a family’s wishes and religious traditions should be your first concern.
5 Things to Consider When Buying Flowers For a Funeral
Ask yourself these questions as you prepare to buy a floral arrangement for the funeral service of a friend or loved one.
What Type of Flowers Should You Send?
The most common types of flowers sent to a funeral include carnations, chrysanthemums, lilies, roses and snapdragons. Ask your florist what types of arrangements they recommend along with what might be seasonally available in the area.
What’s the Difference Between Funeral Flowers and Sympathy Flowers?
“Funeral flowers” are those sent for the funeral service, and are usually a large arrangement. “Sympathy flowers,” on the other hand, go directly to the home of the family of the deceased, and they are addressed to a specific family member or friend. These arrangements are smaller in size, compared to the “funeral flowers,” and they are used to decorate the home of the bereaved.
What About Sending a Plant Instead?
Sending a plant is an excellent idea because they serve as a lasting tribute to a lost friend. A plant can also be planted in the backyard or even at the gravesite in many cases. Some of the more common plants people send include the peace lily, violets and orchids.
Can You Make the Arrangement Unique?
There might be a way to make your funeral flowers unique, specific to the person you are memorializing. Do you know their favorite color or what activities they enjoyed? Talk with your florist to see if there’s something they can do to make it a unique arrangement specific to that person.
If You Send Roses, What Color Should You Send?
Roses are a common funeral flower for a few reasons – they’re beautiful and they symbolize innocence, purity and spirituality. Red roses symbolize love, while yellow roses represent great friendship. Pink roses are often used to express thankfulness.
If you are going to a funeral in the South Florida area, possibly at The Gardens of Boca Raton Cemetery & Funeral Services, then give them a call at (561) 989-9190 to see what florists or what types of flowers they recommend. They are located at 4103 N. Military Trail in Boca Raton.
